Monday Memos // 88

Listening:

"Lonesome Love" by Mitski. Finally the whole album is out and it is superb.

"I See A Darkness" by Bonnie "Prince" Billy.

"Middle School Dance" by fthrsn.

Reading:

Beyoncé in Her Own Words: Her Life, Her Body, Her Heritage

The "It's Complicated" series from The Cut is one of my favorites

Graham Walzer's "Tools For Science," which entails images of his dad conducting "experiments"

These Vogue images are supreme. (Photographed by Tyler Mitchell,  Vogue , September 2018

These Vogue images are supreme. (Photographed by Tyler Mitchell, Vogue, September 2018

Craving:

Last week I got to eat some of my favorite things surrounded by some of my favorite people — comfort and grief wrapped up into a complex ball.

Carrot cranberry cake, vegan chocolate cake, Pop A Top brownies and blondies, plantain chips, blackened salmon salad... I didn't realize how much I missed it all and needed it all. 

Baby vegan chocolate cakes too. It looks like a flower. 

Baby vegan chocolate cakes too. It looks like a flower. 

Wearing:

With all the heat and rain, it's dresses and sandals galore. I'm really dreaming about sweaters and socks.

Watching:

TV: Insecure is back: as good as ever. Binged several episodes of Claws: excellent Florida trash entertainment. Embarrassingly, but with the need of lighthearted junk television, I can't stop watching Insatiable on Netflix. 

Movies: I want to see We The Animalslooks emotional and beautiful). I saw To All the Boys I've Loved Before on Netflix: it was just the right amount of cheesy teen rom com that I needed. Read the IMDb page for The Goldfinch: I'm nervous to have my favorite book ruined by a movie, but the list of actors is so good (Nicole Kidman, Sarah Paulson, Luke Wilson, Ansel Elgort) fingers crossed it'll be amazing. 

Issa and Molly. (image via HBO)

Issa and Molly. (image via HBO)

Treasuring:

Gainesville: I was reminded of how comforting and beautiful and nurturing and supportive this little city is. I wish I could've visited under happier circumstances, but it still managed to bring so much brightness to a dark spot. Thankful for my home and my swampy Florida family. So many wonderful hugs.

I mean come on!

I mean come on!

Monday Memos // 61

Listening:

"Blue Cigar" by Midnight Sister. 

"Let Me Be The One" by Kevin Krauter.

"Where Is The Love" by The Monzas.

"Superboy & Supergirl" by Tullycraft

Reading:

I finished reading a book this weekend, finally, after months of starting novels and feeling uninspired to finish them. I won't share the book though, because it was cheesy and I would not recommend it (the authors seem nice! They tried something!). Now I'm reading "Theft By Finding" by David Sedaris. I'm in the late 70s now and man is his like bleak! 

Here is a wonderful love story that started from loss. I first read the Washington Post version.

Totes magotes. Tote-Bag-Culture Etiquette.

For a breath of fresh air from toxic masculinity: Examples of Toxic Femininity in the Workplace. Lisa comes in for an interview. All the interviewers judge her objectively, based on her qualifications and the candor of her responses. This leaves her so confused that, on the way out of the office, she accidentally walks into traffic and dies.

A mountain of New Yorkers later, I too have their tote. (image by  Ellis Rosen

A mountain of New Yorkers later, I too have their tote. (image by Ellis Rosen

Craving:

All the toast and all the tea. Warmth and carbs. My body is evident of winter.

Wearing:

Rediscovered an old favorite: the hoodie dress. It's like any old over-the-head hoodie but better. You can envelope yourself and don't even need to wear pants. In black, it can be considered chic or like a disguise. Plus, worn on Sunday, I did my quiet part to support the #timesup movement.

Also, if I dare go outside, I am exclusively wearing my favorite knit hat. It's red with an assortment of colorful patterns. I think I borrowed it years ago and accidentally will keep it forever (thanks, Kyle!).

A little over a year ago, on my 27th birthday, in D.C. I look and dress exactly the same. I wanted a rare picture where I'm not making an absurd face.

A little over a year ago, on my 27th birthday, in D.C. I look and dress exactly the same. I wanted a rare picture where I'm not making an absurd face.

Watching:

I fell into a movie research wormhole that started with seeing a trailer for the short fashion film called "Baton." I can't exactly tell what it all it. The costumes are by Dries Van Noten. There was something eerie and dreamy about it, which led me to discover it was written by Efthymis Filippou, who is known for "Dogtooth" and "The Lobster." Aha! They all have that washed out, beautiful, and bizarre feeling. All mesmerizing, brilliant, and disturbing too.

From "The Lobster." These colors are my aesthetic. (image via  asff )

From "The Lobster." These colors are my aesthetic. (image via asff)

I should round out the viewing with "The Killing of a Sacred Deer" (looks creepy!) cowritten by Yorgos Lanthimos (he cowrote and directed the movies above, as well). 

These visuals! That is why I'll definitely watch "The Killing of a Sacred Deer." (image via  eastsidefm )

These visuals! That is why I'll definitely watch "The Killing of a Sacred Deer." (image via eastsidefm)

This also led to reading about a project (tv series? it'll be on AMC) directed by Lanthimos called "On Becoming a God in Central Florida," starring Kristen Dunst. A recently widowed, impoverished Orlando water park employee schemes and cons her way up the ranks of the multi-billion dollar pyramid scheme which ruined her financially in the first place. Sounds amazing—I can picture the scenery perfectly. 

Are you confused yet? I could keep going... IMDb is a close friend.

I'd like Kirsten Dunst to play me in a movie. (image via  theplaylist )

I'd like Kirsten Dunst to play me in a movie. (image via theplaylist)

This is what started it. The bananas! 

Treasuring:

Settling(ish). I'm sleeping on a new bed. I bought 50 hangers. I unpacked my suitcase. I'm trying to make myself feel "at home." My cat is sensing some comforting normalcy; he comes to bed to burrow under the covers with me at night. By the time I know where everything is I'm sure it'll be time to move again, but I'll savor the little familiarities for now.

A beautiful home and awesome painting display! (image via  theglitterguide )

A beautiful home and awesome painting display! (image via theglitterguide)

Monday Memos // 51

Listening:

"Forgiven/Forgotten" by Angel Olsen. "If there's one thing I fear / It's knowing you're around / So close but not here / So close / Oh, but not with me here / So close / But not with me here"

"New York" by St. Vincent. This video is good.

"Milestones" by Buddy Rich. I love this song in all forms and iterations. Birdland in it's entirety is really groovy too.

 By  Farley Katz .

As a bonus: For the Rock Star, Love Has Finally Landed. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for reading the Weddings section of the New York Times. It's like my inner romantic is constantly trying to melt the nonchalant/fear of rejection/un-celebratory parts of me. Anyways, in a long and winding path, I found my way to this wedding from a year ago (I went to get lunch at Eleven36 and was looking though their Instagram page and saw this photo and went to the source and it had to do with this sweet and magical love story with a record store and a musician and long distance and triumph).

“Matthew floats just above the earth,” said their officiant, Ms. de Wilde. “I think that he needs someone like Emily to help bring him down to earth and make the ground less punishing.”

The couple recited personalized vows before approximately 130 friends and family. “You already think the world’s in color, and then it’s really in color,” the groom said of his bride. “You already think you’re a loving person, and then you feel like your heart doubles in size.”   (image by Lauren Lancaster for The New York Times

The couple recited personalized vows before approximately 130 friends and family. “You already think the world’s in color, and then it’s really in color,” the groom said of his bride. “You already think you’re a loving person, and then you feel like your heart doubles in size.”  (image by Lauren Lancaster for The New York Times

Craving:

There are rare times in life when I do not want chocolate cake. So as a celebratory treat for my successful move to New York on Saturday, I got myself a slice of Brooklyn blackout cake from Cinnamon Girl. It was light and rich, cakey and puddingy, I could hardly savor it—I completely devoured it. 

"Blackout cake, sometimes called Brooklyn Blackout cake, is an American chocolate cake filled with chocolate pudding and chocolate cake crumbs, and frosted with chocolate icing. It was invented during World War II by a Brooklyn-based bakery chain named Ebinger's, in recognition of the mandatory blackouts to protect the Brooklyn Navy Yard."

I think I could make it my quest to find all the best blackout cakes in the city.

On my list is Ovenly's version—a favorite for the Village Voice (image via Adam Robb for the villiagevoice)

On my list is Ovenly's version—a favorite for the Village Voice (image via Adam Robb for the villiagevoice)

Wearing:

It's like I have a uniform. Stripes. Denim. Slip-on, solid-colored shoes. 

I'm ready for fall gear, though the heat seems to have followed me up north thus far. Lusting for layers. Scarves. Jackets. Boots. 

Ready for primping. (image by leah goren)

Ready for primping. (image by leah goren)

Watching:

Keeping up with: "This Is Us" (crying and bonding); "Project Runway" (so much drama and twists this season!); "The Deuce" (entertained but not entirely sold).

Recently viewed: "The Meyerowitz Stories" (typical Baumbach—lots of laughing and cringing)

Want to see: "Blade Runner 2049" (positive recommendations and Gosling); "Mindhunter" (I like Jonathan Groff and David Fincher).

Treasuring:

My cat. Considering the variety of sensitivities he has (loud noises terrify him, knocks on the door terrify him, plastic bags terrify him, the presence of most large men terrify him), I was hoping for an okay experience driving 12-13 hours straight with his company. Turns out he's a phenomenal travel partner. He was patient and quiet and easy—he never made a single terrible noise! We chatted, I sang to him, I cried to him, I felt so grateful for his companionship. 

His first days versus these days. 

His first days versus these days. 

A majority of my life was spent wishing I lived elsewhere. I made it out of my hometown for a few years, then found myself back—a stay that was longer than anticipated. Yet, this last stint was one of the best. I made some of the most amazing relationships. I felt joy and excitement and satisfaction. I discovered so many things about the place and myself. What a relief (and some serious heartache) to leave on such terms. 

My feet in Florida.

Monday Memos // 49

Listening:

"Forever" by Pete Drake. 

"Thinkin Bout You" by Frank Ocean.

"Midnight Walk" by Elvin Jones.

"Kiss Me" by Sixpence None The Richer.

Reading:

For better or worse: "How to Survive the Apocalypse."

That title was paired with an image of brownies, so I was sold: "The Story Behind the Greatest Internet Recipe Comment of All Time."

Part of me wants to go the ignorance is bliss route. (image by Leo Acadia via NYTimes)

Part of me wants to go the ignorance is bliss route. (image by Leo Acadia via NYTimes)

Craving:

All the peanut butter. All the chocolate. Perhaps I'm in a kind of Reese's spiral (though I've been eating the elements in almost every form but this cup variety). Have you ever tried those new Reese's cups filled with Reese's Pieces? I'd be open to the idea of a candy bar company sponsoring me. 

I haven't actually tried this, but I wouldn't not.

I haven't actually tried this, but I wouldn't not.

Wearing:

I've been trying to wear lipstick more often again. Pizzazz pick-me-up.

Nars "Heat Wave" is still the best.

Nars "Heat Wave" is still the best.

Watching:

I'm counting down until March for Wes Anderson's latest movie "Isle of Dogs." I love seeing his movies on the big screen and crying tears of joy/wistfulness/love. I still remember seeing "Fantastic Mr. Fox" in the theatre (for the second time) as it snowed outside; everything was perfect and magical.

I'm also looking forward to Noah Baumbach's latest, "The Meyerowitz Stories." Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler. Arty/wordy New York-centric movies are generally up my alley. 

In honor of Harry Dean Stanton, I really want to see "Lucky." "The spiritual journey of a ninety-year-old atheist." Sounds perfect. Plus, with David Lynch, Ron Livingston, and Ed Begley Jr., how could you go wrong? (I'll never not think of him as Roman Grant on Big Love.)

Treasuring:

My small, strange, beautiful hometown.

Deejay nights—my world of music has expanded greatly and happily. Plus, it's just really fun smack-dab in the middle of the week.

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